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EBBA 36146

Chetham's Library - Halliwell-Phillipps
Ballad XSLT Template
THE
Cuckholds Petition
TO THE
Parliament of Women,

Setting forth their many Grievances; and Humbly presented to those Sage Matrons, who
appointed as a Committee to inspect the affairs of the Hornlanders.
The APOLOGY:

'Tis for Redress, Sage Matrons that we come,
And in the Name of all in Cuckholdome,
Implore a Regulation in affairs,
That purs and Reputation both Impairs.
In all our Brethrens Names we few are sent,
This poor Petition Humbly to present.

Leaving you to consider our hard fate,
Hard as Acteons, who Transform'd of late
Was to a Stagg; for daring but to view
Naked Diana sporting with her crew.

Entred according to Order.

To the Tune of Hey-Boys up go We: Or Genny Gynn.

THe low Petition of poor we,
Whose Heads each bear a crest,
Does let you Madams plainly see
How we have been opprest,
Though our fore-doors we fain wou'd guard,
Yet 'tis our Wives good pleasure,
That they should always stand unbar'd,
Although we loose our Treasure.

Nay now and then they will intice
Bold Robbers for to venture,
And in the main to be concise,
Will freely let them Enter,
Whilst we are forc't for to retire,
Or seem asleep to sit,
For fear they should upon us fire,
Or stick us with their spit.

Then strait to Ransacking they fall,
Where we our treasure hoarded,
And then you know 'tis Have-at-all,
When once the Frigat's boarded,
Then up and down they Rummage still,
Incourag'd by our wives,
And freely Act whate're they will,
Whilst none to hinder strives.

Or if we dare, there's two to one
Our wives will take their part,
And it was better let alone,
Although we feel the smart,
No kindness we can shew, our Dames
Seems pleasing, but they will
Reject our chast and Amorous flames,
And take our fondness Ill.

But if a Gallant chance to come,
Their frowns are all laid by,
And strait into an Upper-Room,
With him they trip with joy,
But what they do, we dare not see,
As we regard our quiet,
But must content and patient be
To pay for costly Diet.

To Pamper him and fill his veins
With blood, that does create
Desire, that our wives still drain,
Whilst we do blame our fate,
But if a Tempest we'd avoid,
That would the House untile,
On those that have been so imploy'd,
We must not dare but smile.

Then to a Tavern, Ball, or Play,
They in a Coach do pack,
Whilst we stand crying all the day,
Pray Sirs, what is't you lack,
When the Evening's come the Revels o're,
Our wives return again,
For us they have no joy in store,
Yet dare we not complain.

But all Night long they sleep or scold,
At what we cannot tell,
Or dream their Gallants they infold,
And at it are Pell-mel,
Yet dare not we disturb their rest,
But be content to see
What in the day has been exprest,
There imitated be.

For if we speak, they low'r and pout,
Or Weep, or Rant, and then
Our Purses they must surely out,
To quiet them agen,
A Sattain Gown or Richest Lace,
Gold Watch, or Ribbons brave,
Must make attonement in the case,
If we would quiet have.

Therefore from you we seek redress,
Who know their ways full well,
Your Council 'tis, that in distress,
We begg you'd give or sell,
And though our Fortunes must increase,
Fate having order'd it,
Yet pass an Act for future Peace,
Wee'l pray you long may sit.

LONDON, Printed for A. Chamberlain in St. Johns-Street.

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