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EBBA 21288

Magdalene College - Pepys
Ballad XSLT Template
The Crafty MISS:
O r, An Excise-man well fitted.
Being a true Relation of an Excise-man , who lately in the County of Kent , had
received the Sum of F our-score-pounds and lighting into the company of a
Crafty Miss who gave him the Chouse for it all; and riding away with his
Gelding, left in the stead a Mare which she had stole, for which Mare he was
Arraigned, and narrowly escaped the severe penalty of the Law: Which may
be a sufficient warning to all Excise-men far and near, to amend their lives, to
hate a Miss, and love their Wives.
To the Tune of, Moggies Jealousie . Entred according ot Order.

T Here was an Excise-Man so fine,
rode into the county of Kent ,
And there he received much coyn,
for that very pupose he went:
He met with a jolly brave miss,
her beauty as fair to behold,
But she gave a Judas kiss,
and shew'd him a trick for his Gold.

She rode on a bonny brave Mare,
he rid on a Gelding also,
He whisper'd a word in her ear,
straightway to an Inn they did go,
He was of a pritty condition,
he call'd her the joy of his life,
And then without any suspition,
they passed for Husband and wife.

They set up the Mare and the Gelding,
and call'd for a supper with speed,
Their wine it was plentily fill'd in,
and lovingly then they agreed:
O then they were heartily merry,
their joys did begin to obound,
They drank up full brimmers of Sherry,
and the glass it went merrily round.

He had not the sight of his folly,
fond love had so blinded his eyes,
O then he was heartily jolly,
he thought he had gotten a prize,
Then whilst they most lovingly greeted,
he thought he was certainly blest.
But ne'r was Ezcise-man so cheated,
O now comes the cream of the jest.

He pull'd out a Purse full of Gold,
which he had receiv'd for Excise,
And said to his Landlord, behold,
keep this till the morning we rise;
His Miss she did call him her honey,
and strait to Embracing they fall,
But her mind still run on the money,
to give him the chouse for it all,

And while he was snoring and sleeping,
she thought it no time to delay.
But giving the Landlord a meeting,
O thus unto him she did say,
My husband he has not the power
to rise although it be day,
Yet he hath appointed an hour
to pay all the money away.

The time doth begin to expire,
then prithee now Saddle his Steed,
And Landlord I do you desire,
to fetch me the money with speed;
The Inn-keeper he did believe it,
and fetch'd her the four-score pound,
And she was as glad to receive it,
she neither spar'd Horse-flesh nor ground

But when the Excise-man did waken,
and found that his Miss she was fled,
And seeking himself thus forsaken,
while he had been sleeping in Bed,
O then how he rapped and thunder'd,
he was in a Chollerick heat,
His pockets was pilledg'd and plunder'd
he found he had met with a cheat.

The Landlord the Chamber did enter,
and bowing himself to the ground,
Sir, have you forgot where you sent her;
to pay in the fourscore pound?
The Landlord no sooner had said it,
but then he was daunted straitway,
But yet for the sake of his credit,
O never a word he would say.

But then he was fretting and petting,
he had ne'r a penny of Cole,
His Miss rid away with his gelding,
and left him a Mare that was stole,
For which they did soon apprehend him,
in sorrow he did then complain,
For they to a Prison did send him,
where he did tell Sizes remain.

And there he was 'raign'd at the Bar,
besides all the money he lost,
O now you Excise-men beware,
you see in your Courting your crost,
The Billit had like to been found,
because he had call'd her his Wife,
It cost him many a pound,
and had like to have cost him his life.

This was in Rochester City,
the truth you may certainly find.
The people afforded no pitty,
but said he was serv'd in his kind,
But now the Excise-man is sorry,
that ever he met with this Made;
For sure he had learned her lurry,
she lackt but a stock to her trade.

Printed for J. Deacon, at the Sign of the Angel in Guilt-spur-Street.

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