%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> The Philosophical WIFE, / OR, / Undeniable Demonstrations / Proving / A WIFE to be the best Philosopher. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center English Broadside Ballad Archive (EBBA) Director Patricia Fumerton Associate Director Carl G Stahmer ?-? Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 07/12/2021 37637

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

R181781 1 NONE Greensleeves THey'r many that Wedlock a Plague do call, / And have curs'd it ever since Adam's Fall, Which no body can deny. [with variation] British Library - Bagford Editor none none none none Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 3: 102 The Philosophical WIFE, / OR, / Undeniable Demonstrations / Proving / A WIFE to be the best Philosopher. The Philosophical WIFE, OR, Undeniable Demonstrations Proving A WIFE to be the best Philosopher. ?-?

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction / health alcohol Americas animals / nature Bible / biblical figures buildings / architecture catastrophe children class clothing / appearance country / nation crime death economics / commerce entertainments family Featured folklore gender holidays / seasons infidelity labor / craft law London love maritime marriage military / war monstrosity mythology / Classical news nobility / court politics / government procreation punishment race / ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious groups royalty rural life servitude sex / sexuality supernatural / magic travel trickery / deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgar humor youth / age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 7/12/2021 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 7/12/2021 11:21:08 AM XBallad Henderson, Olivia Created XML Version of Ballad 7/12/2021 11:21:08 AM Transcription Supervisor McCants, Kristen Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/12/2021 11:21:08 AM Double-Key Comparison and Merging McCants, Kristen Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/12/2021 11:21:08 AM Transcriptionist Two Al halabieh, Deena Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/12/2021 11:21:08 AM Transcriptionist One Raychawdhuri, Anita Transcription of ballad manuscript 8/29/2019 Bibliographer Kristen McCants Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created
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THey'r many that Wedlock a Plague do call, And have curs'd it ever since Adams Fall, Yet these are but dull Philosophers all, Which nobody can deny. For when Adam led a single life, Sole Monarch of the World, and free from strife, To compleat his Bliss, he still wanted a Wife, Which nobody will deny. To make this out, that you may know so, I'le prove in spight of each Braggadocio, That a Wife's the only Virtuoso, Which nobody, etc. In Grammar first, her skill's not slender, She shews the Case, and Declines not the Gender, And in varying Amo, there's no man can mend her, Which nobody, etc. What though her Stock perhaps be but small I'th Languages raiz'd at Babels fall, Her own Tongue utters more than they all, Which nobody, etc. Her Rhetorick next is more moving far, Than a spruce young Lawers new call'd to the Barr, When with Tropes and Figures he levies Warr, Which nobody, etc. For when an obliging Wench does perswade, Each Man forgets his Credit and Trade, And streight like a sneaking Cully's betrayd, Which nobody, etc. But when to chop Logick, her mind is bent, The Fool her Husband were best be content, Or else he's in a sad Predicament, Which nobody, etc. In Numbers she hath knowledge store, And duly reckons the Ale-house Score, By Debitor and Creditor over the Dore, Which my Hostess cannot deny. I'th Art of Musick she leads the Van, She knows Elevation, and Backfalls, and can Make her Husband shake when she acteth the Man, Which nobody, etc. Her Tune she can easily grace and embellish, Her Husband she kisses, and that's a good rellish; But if she falls out there's no Musick so Hellish, Which nobody, etc. Hence come the Beats, and they'r never at rest, Till at last by a Cadent they fall to their Nest, For there they can play their Rellishes best,
In Astrology next, none righter than she, Can Calculate a Nativity, With Venus none better acquainted can be, But Aries and Taurus are Enemies still, The changable Moon too her Husband doth kill; For she by Example brings Horns when she will, Which nobody can deny. And when she is crabbed you'l swear that the Sun Just then to the Tropick of Cancer is run, For the House is too hot till her humour be done. Which nobody, etc. Now if that her love be cold, and she scorn Her Husband, declining to Capricorn; 'Tis a Sign the poor Cuckold may wind his Horn, Which nobody, etc. But if thou art kind and of frolliking brains, And too much blood hath extended thy Veins. She can give thee a Potion to purge thy Reins, Which nobody, etc. In Law too she hath knowledge, for if from thy Bed She fly; or incensed begins to look red, You'l find by her Law she may scratch her own head, Which nobody, etc. Though Dike for Limning famous be, And no man ever drew better than he; Yet he ne're drew Boyes so lively as She, Which nobody, etc. I'th Mathematicks too she leads the Ring, Where Demonstrations she can bring, That the middle's the Centre of every thing, Which nobody, etc. This by th'Attractive Power she'll prove, Whereby Things do their Centre move, Since every Man to the middle doth move, Which nobody, etc. Though Chymists, Natures bratts alone May call themselves, yet there is none But She, that can find the Philosopher's Stone, Which nobody, etc. Then let each Philosopher quickly agree, To get him a Wife his Leader to be, For none's so Philosophical as She, Which nobody can deny.
FINIS.