%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> A POEM / AGAINST / MARRIAGE; / Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call'd Husband. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center English Broadside Ballad Archive (EBBA) Director Patricia Fumerton Associate Director Carl G Stahmer 1675-1675 Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 10/26/2018 36375

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

HUsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant, / Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want; Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. : A POEM / AGAINST / MARRIAGE; / Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call'd Husband. A POEM AGAINST MARRIAGE; Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, called Husband. 1675-1675

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction / health alcohol Americas animals / nature Bible / biblical figures buildings / architecture catastrophe children class clothing / appearance country / nation crime death economics / commerce entertainments family Featured folklore gender holidays / seasons infidelity labor / craft law London love maritime marriage military / war monstrosity mythology / Classical news nobility / court politics / government procreation punishment race / ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious groups royalty rural life servitude sex / sexuality supernatural / magic travel trickery / deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgar humor youth / age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 10/26/2018 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 10/26/2018 4:10:34 PM XBallad Raychawdhuri, Anita Created XML Version of Ballad 10/26/2018 4:10:34 PM Transcription Supervisor McCants, Kristen Transcription of ballad manuscript 10/26/2018 4:10:34 PM Double-Key Comparison and Merging McCants, Kristen Transcription of ballad manuscript 10/26/2018 4:10:34 PM Transcriptionist Two Stark, Nicole Transcription of ballad manuscript 10/26/2018 4:10:34 PM Transcriptionist One Raychawdhuri, Anita Transcription of ballad manuscript 9/11/2017 Bibliographer Kristen McCants Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created
<seg n="1" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">A POEM</hi></seg> <seg n="2" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">AGAINST</hi></seg> <seg n="3" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">MARRIAGE;</hi></seg> <seg n="4" rend="left">Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call'd Husband.</seg>
HUsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant, Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want; Sold an Eternal Vassal for thy Life, Oblieg'd to Cherish, and to Heat a Wife: Drudge on till Fifty; at thy Own Expence Breath out thy Life in one Impertinence; Repeat thy loath'd Embraces every Night, Prompted to Act, by Duty (not Delight:) Christen thy froward Bantling every Year, And carefully thy Spurious Issue Rear: Go once a Week to see the Brat at Nurse, And let the Young Imposter drein thy Purse: Hedge-Sparrow-like, what Cuckoo's have begot Do thou maintain, Incorrigible Sott. O! I could curse the Pimp that could do less, He's beneath Pitty, and beyond Redress: Pox on him! let him go; what can I say? Anethemas on him are Thrown away; The wretch is marry'd, & has known the worst, And now his Blessing is, he can't be Curst. Marry'd! O Hell and Furies! name it not, [He]nce, hence you Holy Cheats; a Plot, a Plot. [Marri]age is but a Licens'd way to Sin, [A] Nooze to catch Religious Wood-cocks in: [Or t]he Nick-name of some Malicious Friend, [Beg]ot in Hell to Prosecute Man-kind. ['T]is the Destroyer of our Peace and Health, Mispender of our precious Time and Wealth; The Enemy to Wit, Valour, Mirth, all That we can Vertuous, Good, or Pleasant call. By Day 'tis nothing but an endless Noise; [B]y Night the Eccho of Forgotten Joys: [Ab]road the Sport and Wonder of the Crowd, At Home the hourly breach of what we vow'd: In it's Opium to our Lustful Rage, Which sleeps awhile, and wakes again in Age. It heaps on all Men much (but useless) Care, Forthwith more Trouble, they less Happy are; [It ch]ecks Youth, shortens life, & taints the mind, Our Sences pales, and strikes our Reason blind. [Y]e Gods! that Man by his own Slavish Law, Should on himself such Inconvenience draw:
If we would Wiser Natures Laws Obey, Those chalk him out a far more pleasant way, She bids freely Look, Like, and Enjoy. Therefore when lusty Youth & Wine conspire To Flame the Blood unto a Generous Fire; We must not think the Gallant will Indure The Durient Raging of his Calenture: Nor always in his single Pleasures Burn, Tho' Natures Hand-maid some time serves the turn: No, he must have a sprightly youthful Wench, In equal floods of Love, his flame to quench; One that will hold him in her Clasping Arm, And in that Circle all his Spirits Charm: That with New Motion, and unpractis'd Art, Can raise his Soul, & then vein-snare his Heart. Hence springs the Noble, Fortunate, and Great, Always Begot in Passion, and in Heat: But the Dull Off-spring of the Marriage-Bed, What is it? but a Humane shape in Lead: A Sloathful Lump Ingender'd of all Ills, Begot like D--- against the Parents Wills. If it be Cuckoldiz'd, it's Doubly Spoil'd, The Mothers Fear's Intail'd upon the Child. Thus whether Illegitimate, or Not, Cowards and Fools in Wedlock are Begot: Let no Enobled Soul himself Debase, By Lawful Ways to Dasterdize his Race; But if he must Pay Natures Debt in Kind, To check the growing Danger, let him find Some willing Female out; What tho' she be The very Scum and Dregs of Infamy: Tho' she be Linsey-Woolsey, Baud & Whore, Close-stool to Venus, Natures Common-shore, Impudence, Folly, Brandy, and Disease, The Sundays Crack for Suburb Prentices; What then? she's better then a Wife by half, And if thou'rt still Unmarry'd, thou art safe. with whores thou can'st but venture, what is lost May be Redeem'd again with Care and Cost; But a Damn'd Wife, Inevitable Fate, Destroys, Soul, Body, Credit, and Estate.
FINIS.