%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> The Doting Old DAD, / OR, / The Unequal Match betwixt a Rich Muckworm of Fourscore and Ten, and / a Young Lass scarce Nineteen. / When Dads thus Old, whose Blood is cold, / young Damsels seeks to Wed; / For their neglect, they may expect / Horns grafted on their Head. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center English Broadside Ballad Archive (EBBA) Director Patricia Fumerton Associate Director Carl G Stahmer ?-? Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 03/02/2016 34943

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

R214509 1 All Trades Old Simon the King All Trades THere was a young Damsel of late, / was Woo'd by a Dad very Old, But ever when he drew nigh, / the Damsel would straight reply; / I'le never have you, for what can you do? / O fie upon Fumblers, fie. [with variation] Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 1: 1 The Doting Old DAD, / OR, / The Unequal Match betwixt a Rich Muckworm of Fourscore and Ten, and / a Young Lass scarce Nineteen. / When Dads thus Old, whose Blood is cold, / young Damsels seeks to Wed; / For their neglect, they may expect / Horns grafted on their Head. The Doting Old DAD, OR, The Unequal Match betwixt a Rich Muckworm of Fourscore and Ten, and a Young Lass scarce Nineteen. When Dads thus Old, whose Blood is cold, young Damsels seek to Wed; For their neglect, they may expect Horns grafted on their Head. The Doting Old DAD, OR, The Unequal Match betwixt a Rich Muckworm of Fourscore and Ten, and a Young Lass scarce Nineteen. When Dads thus Old, whose Blood is cold, young Damsels seek to Wed; For their neglect, they may expect Horns grafted on their Head. ?-? P. Brooksby

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/ health alcohol Americas animals/ nature Bible/ biblical figures buildings/ architecture catastrophe children class clothing/ appearance country/ nation crime death economics/ commerce entertainments family Featured folklore gender holidays/ seasons infidelity labor/ craft law London love maritime marriage military/ war monstrosity mythology/ Classical news nobility/ court politics/ government procreation punishment race/ ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious groups royalty rural life servitude sex/ sexuality supernatural/ magic travel trickery/ deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgar humor youth/ age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 3/2/2016 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America economics/ commerce family infidelity marriage sex/ sexuality youth/ age Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 3/2/2016 2:41:47 PM XBallad Bell, Erik Created XML Version of Ballad 3/2/2016 2:41:47 PM Transcription Supervisor Palmer, Megan Transcription of ballad manuscript 3/2/2016 2:41:47 PM Double-Key Comparison and Merging McCants, Kristen Transcription of ballad manuscript 3/2/2016 2:41:47 PM Transcriptionist Two Champagne, Ashley Transcription of ballad manuscript 3/2/2016 2:41:47 PM Transcriptionist One Sparks, Jessica Transcription of ballad manuscript 3/9/2015 Checker Rachel LevinsonEmley Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 2/25/2016 Checker Rachel LevinsonEmley Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 12/9/2014 Bibliographer Kristen McCants Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created 11/10/2015 Checker Erik Bell Edited Ballad Catalogue Record
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THere was a young Damsel of late, was Woo'd by a Dad very Old, He had a right worthy Estate, besides store of Silver and Gold: His Service he proffer'd her then, yet he was as pale as a Ghost, He being full Fourscore and Ten, and she was but Nineteen at most: But ever when he drew nigh, the Damsel would straight reply; I'le never have you, for what can you do? O fie upon Fumblers, fie.
Although I am wrinckled and Lean, yet I will be loving to thee, And deck thee as fine as a Queen, if thou wilt be Marry'd to me: Both Silver and Gold I have store, and yet though thy Portion is small, If I had a thousand times more, yet you shou'd be Mistris of all: But ever when he drew nigh, the Damsel would straight Reply, I'le never have you, for what can you do? O fie upon Fumblers, fie.
I tell thee my amorous Girl, if that thou wilt be but my Bride, I'le give thee Rich Jewels and Pearl, and twenty new Nick-knacks beside: A Tower and Top-knot so fine, a Mask and a delicate Fan; O tell me now wilt thou be mine, endeavour to love an Old Man: But ever when he, etc. He proffer'd her still to advance her, but thus with Discretion, said she, You're Old enough to be my Grandsir, and therefore no Husband for me: For when I behold your bald Pate, and stragling Hairs white and gray, O then at a sorrowful rate, I weeping and sighing, shall say: O what a hard Fortune have I, though Marry'd, a Maiden must dye: The more is my grief, I see no relief, O fie upon Fumblers, fie. Now hearing the Damsels intent, and finding he could not prevail, Away to her Mother he went, and told her a pittiful Tale: Your Daughter she is in a rage, and all my kind proffers won't heed, Besides, she despises my Age, which ought to be Honour'd indeed: For when to her I draw nigh, she makes this strange Reply; I'le never have you, for what can you do? O fie upon Fumblers, fie. She straight for her Daughter did send, before the Old Man went away, In duty she straight did attend, to hear what her Mother would say: My Daughter, you will understand, that he has good Treasure enuff, In Money, nay, Cattel and Land, with abundance of good Houshold-stuff: Then Daughter tell me but why, you will not freely comply? Said she, he is Old, his Blood it is cold, O fie upon Fumblers, fie.
Her Mother did hear her therefore, she straightway did call her aside, You know he has Riches great store, and therefore you must be his Bride: And as for the pleasure of Youth, if he can't get Daughter or Son, Believe me, I'de have you, in truth, do e'ne as your Mother has done: For when my Old Dad would deny, to yield me a daily supply, I still had a Friend my Will to attend, for fie upon Fumblers, fie. Thus you may your sorrows relieve, although an Old Fumblers Wife, It is easie to make him believe you love him as dear as your life: You need not his Jealousie dread, if that you will make but each night A Cordial, and put him to Bed, then kiss with a Gallant all night: For Daughter, I cannot deny, but Wives may want a supply, Which if it be so, abroad we must go, for fie upon Fumblers, fie. The Damsel she gave her Consent, and they the next morning was Wed[,] The day was in Merriment spent, at length they did hurry to Bed: And then said the Feeble Old Man, thy fancy I'de willingly feed, But can do no more than I can, accept of the Will for the Deed. In Bed he Grunting doth lye, which makes her often Reply, I still am a Maid, and shall be, she said, O fie upon Fumblers, fie.
FINIS. Printed for P. Brooksby, at the Sign o[f] the Golden-Ball, near the Hospital- Gate, in West-Smithfield.