%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> The Converts. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center English Broadside Ballad Archive (EBBA) Director Patricia Fumerton Associate Director Carl G Stahmer ?-? Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 07/11/2014 33002

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

R29329 I Did intend in Rhimes Heroick / To write of Converts Apostolick, Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 1: 569 The Converts. The Converts. The Converts. ?-?

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/ health alcohol Americas animals/ nature Bible/ biblical figures buildings/ architecture catastrophe children class clothing/ appearance country/ nation crime death economics/ commerce entertainments family Featured folklore gender holidays/ seasons infidelity labor/ craft law London love maritime marriage military/ war monstrosity mythology/ Classical news nobility/ court politics/ government procreation punishment race/ ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious groups royalty rural life servitude sex/ sexuality supernatural/ magic travel trickery/ deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgar humor youth/ age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 7/11/2014 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America politics/ government religious groups royalty Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 7/11/2014 1:40:07 PM XBallad Russ, Theresa Created XML Version of Ballad 7/11/2014 1:40:07 PM Transcription Supervisor Meyer, Shannon Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/11/2014 1:40:07 PM Double-Key Comparison and Merging Meyer, Shannon Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/11/2014 1:40:07 PM Transcriptionist Two Moss, Benjamin Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/11/2014 1:40:07 PM Transcriptionist One Yuen, Pui Transcription of ballad manuscript 7/31/2013 Checker Shannon Meyer Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 2/6/2013 Checker William Hildalgo Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 10/21/2012 Bibliographer Shannon Meyer Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created
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I Did intend in Rhimes Heroick To write of Converts Apostolick, Describe their persons and their shames, And leave the World to guess their Names: But soon I thought the scoundrel Theme Was for Heroick Song too mean; Their Characters we'll then rehearse In Burlesque, or in Dogrel Verse; Of Earls, of Lords, of Knights I'll sing, That chang'd their Faith to please their King. The first an Antiquated Lord, A walking Mummy in a word, Moves cloath'd in Plaisters Aromatick, And Flannel, by the help of a Stick, And like a grave and noble Peer, Outlives his Sense by Sixty year; And what an honest Man would anger, Outlives the Fort he built at Tanger; By Pox, and Whores long since undone, Yet loves it still, and fumbles on: Why he's a Favourite few can guess, Some say it's for his Ugliness; For often Monsters (being rare) Are valued equal to the Fair: For in his Mistrisses, kind James Loves Ugliness in its extreams; But others say 'tis plainly seen, 'Tis for the Choice he made o'th' Queen; When he the King and Nation blest With Off-spring of the House of Est; A Dame whose Affability Equals her Generosity: Oh! Well match'd Pair, who frugally are bent To live without the aids of Parliament. All this and more the Peer perform'd, Then to compleat his Vertues, turn'd; But 'twas not Conscience, or Devotion, The hopes of Riches or Promotion That made his Lordship first to vary, But 'twas to please his Daughter Mary; And she to make retaliation, Is full as lewd in her Vocation. The next a Caravannish Thief, A lazy Mass of damn'd Rump Beef; Prodigious Guts, no Brains at all, But very Rhynocerical, Was Married ere the Cub was lickt, And now not worthy to be kickt, By Jockeys bubbled, forc'd to fly, To save his Coat, to Italy. Where Haynes and he, that Virtuous Youth, Equal in Honour, Sense, and Truth; By Reason and pure Conscience urged, Past Sins by Abjuration Purged: But 'tis believed both Rogue and Peer, More worldly Motives had to veer; The Scoundrel Plebeians swerving Was to secure himself from starving;
And that which made the Peer a Starter, Was hope of a long wish'd for Garter. Next comes a Peer who sits at Helm, And long has steer'd the giddy Realm With Taylors motion, mein, and grace, But a right Statesman in Grimace; The Sneer, the Cringe, and then by turns, The dully grave, the Frowns and Scorns, Promises all, but nought performs: But how e'er great he's in Promotion, He's very humble in Devotion; With Taper light, and Feet all bare, He to the Temple did repair, And knocking softly at the Portal, Cry'd, Pity (Fathers) a poor Mortal, And for a Sinner make some room, A Prodigal returned home. Some say that in that very hour, Convert Mall Megs arriv'd at door; So both with Penitent Grimace, Statesman and Bawd with humble pace Entered, and were received to grace. The next a Knight of high Command 'Twixt London-Bridge and Dover-Sand; A Man of strict and holy Life, Taking example from his Wife; He to a Nunnery sent her packing, Lest they should take each other napping. Some say L'Estrange did him beget, But that he wants his Chin and Wit; Good natur'd, as you may observe, Letting his Titular Father starve; A Man of Sense and Parts we know it, But dares as well be damn'd as show it; Brib'd by himself, his trusty Servant At Kings-Bench-Bar appear'd most servent Against his Honor for the Test, To him 'twas Gain, to all Mankind a Jest. Blue-Bonnet Lords a numerous store, Whose best Example is they're Poor; Meerly drawn in in hopes of Gains, And reap the Scandal for their pains; Half starv'd at Court with expectation, Forc'd to return to their Scotch Station, Despis'd and scorn'd by every Nation. A paltry Knight not worth a mention, Renounc'd his Faith for piteous Pension; After upon True Protestant Whore, H' had spent a large Estate before.
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