%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> A POEM / AGAINST / MARRIAGE; / Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call'd Husband. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center Director Patricia Fumerton ?-? Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 06/25/2014 32912

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

R217919 HUsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant, / Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want; Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 1: 536 A POEM / AGAINST / MARRIAGE; / Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call'd Husband. A POEM AGAINST MARRIAGE; Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, call’d Husband. A POEM AGAINST MARRIAGE; Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, called Husband. ?-?

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/ health alcohol Americas animals/ nature Bible/ biblical figures buildings/ architecture catastrophe children class clothing/ appearance country/ nation crime death economics/ commerce entertainments family Featured folklore gender holidays/ seasons infidelity labor/ craft law London love maritime marriage military/ war monstrosity mythology/ Classical news nobility/ court politics/ government procreation punishment race/ ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious groups royalty rural life servitude sex/ sexuality supernatural/ magic travel trickery/ deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgar humor youth/ age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 6/25/2014 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America advice affliction/ health gender marriage vulgar humor Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 6/25/2014 11:29:53 AM XBallad Saylor, Colton Created XML Version of Ballad 6/25/2014 11:29:53 AM Transcription Supervisor Meyer, Shannon Transcription of ballad manuscript 6/25/2014 11:29:53 AM Double-Key Comparison and Merging Meyer, Shannon Transcription of ballad manuscript 6/25/2014 11:29:53 AM Transcriptionist Two Yuen, Pui Transcription of ballad manuscript 6/25/2014 11:29:53 AM Transcriptionist One Becker, Charlotte Transcription of ballad manuscript 5/30/2013 Checker William Hildalgo Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 4/13/2014 Checker Tom Doran Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 10/16/2012 Bibliographer Shannon Meyer Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created
<seg n="1" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">A POEM</hi></seg> <seg n="2" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">AGAINST</hi></seg> <seg n="3" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">MARRIAGE;</hi></seg> <seg n="4" rend="left">Directed to that Inconsiderable Animal, calld Husband.</seg>
HUsband! thou Dull unpittied Miscreant, Wedded to Noise, to Misery, and Want; Sold an Eternal Vassal for thy Life, Obliegd to Cherish, and to Heat a Wife: Drudge on till Fifty; at thy Own Expence Breath out thy Life in one Impertinence; Repeat thy loathd Embraces every Night, Prompted to Act, by Duty (not Delight:) Christen thy froward Bantling every Year, And carefully thy Spurious Issue Rear: Go once a Week to see the Brat at Nurse, And let the Young Imposter drein thy Purse: Hedge-Sparrow-like, what Cuckoos have begot Do thou maintain, Incorrigible Sott. O! I could curse the Pimp that could do less, Hes beneath Pitty, and beyond Redress: Pox on him! let him go; what can I say? Anethemas on him are Thrown away; The wretch is marryd, & has known the worst, And now his Blessing is, he cant be Curst. Marryd! O Hell and Furies! name it not, Hence, hence you Holy Cheats; a Plot, a Plot. Marriage is but a Licensd way to Sin, A Nooze to catch Religious Wood-cocks in: Or the Nick-name of some Malicious Friend, Begot in Hell to Prosecute Man-kind. Tis the Destroyer of our Peace and Health, Mispender of our precious Time and Wealth; The Enemy to Wit, Valour, Mirth, all That we can Vertuous, Good, or Pleasant call. By Day tis nothing but an endless Noise; By Night the Eccho of Forgotten Joys: Abroad the Sport and Wonder of the Crowd, At Home the hourly breach of what we vowd: In its Opium to our Lustful Rage, Which sleeps a while, and wakes again in Age. It heaps on all Men much (but useless) Care, Forthwith more Trouble, they less Happy are; It checks Youth, shortens life, & taints the mind, Our Sences pales, and strikes our Reason blind. Ye Gods! that Man by his own Slavish Law, Should on himself such Inconvenience draw:
If we would Wiser Natures Laws Obey, Those chalk him out a far more pleasant way, She bids freely Look, Like, and Enjoy. Therefore when lusty Youth & Wine conspire To Flame the Blood unto a Generous Fire; We must not think the Gallant will Indure The Durient Raging of his Calenture: Nor always in his single Pleasures Burn, Tho Natures Hand-maid some time serves the turn: No, he must have a sprightly youthful Wench, In equal floods of Love, his flame to quench; One that will hold him in her Clasping Arm, And in that Circle all his Spirits Charm: That with New Motion, and unpractisd Art, Can raise his Soul, & then vein-snare his Heart. Hence springs the Noble, Fortunate, and Great, Always Begot in Passion, and in Heat: But the Dull Off-spring of the Marriage-Bed, What is it? but a Humane shape in Lead: A Sloathful Lump Ingenderd of all Ills, Begot like D--- against the Parents Wills. If it be Cuckoldizd, its Doubly Spoild, The Mothers Fears Intaild upon the Child. Thus whether Illegitimate, or Not, Cowards and Fools in Wedlock are Begot: Let no Enobled Soul himself Debase, By Lawful Ways to Dasterdize his Race; But if he must Pay Natures Debt in Kind, To check the growing Danger, let him find Some willing Female out; What tho she be The very Scum and Dregs of Infamy: Tho she be Linsey-Woolsey, Baud & Whore, Close-stool to Venus, Natures Common-shore, Impudence, Folly, Brandy, and Disease, The Sundays Crack for Suburb Prentices; What then? shes better then a Wife by half, And if thourt still Unmarryd, thou art safe. with whores thou canst but venture, what is lost May be Redeemd again with Care and Cost; But a Damnd Wife, Inevitable Fate, Destroys, Soul, Body, Credit, and Estate.
FINIS.