CHRIST's KIRK on the GREEN; / In Two CANTO's. / CANTO the First, by King JAMES the Fifth.

<seg n="1" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">CHRISTs <hi rend="bold">KIRK</hi> on the GREEN;</hi></seg> <lb/> <seg n="2" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">In Two CANTOs.</hi></seg> <lb/> <seg n="3" rend="left"><hi rend="italic"><hi rend="bold">CANTO</hi> the First, by King <hi rend="bold">JAMES</hi> the Fifth.</hi></seg>

WAS neer in Scotland heard nor seen Such Dancing and Deray? Neither at Faulkland on the Green, Nor Peebles at the Play, As was of Wooers as I ween At Christs Kirk on a Day; For there came Katie washen clean With her new Gown of Gray, Full Gay that Day. To Dance these Damosels them Dight, These Lasses light of Laits, Their Gloves were of the Raffal right, Their Shoes were of the Straits; Their Kirtles were of Lincoln light, Well prest with many Plaits; They were so nice when Men they neighd They squelld like any Gaits. Full loud that Day. Of all these Maidens mild as Mead, Was none so gimp as Gillie, As any Rose her Rude was red, Her Lire was like the Lillie, But Yellow, Yellow, was her Head, And she of Love so silly, Tho all her Kind had sworn her Dead, She would have none but Willie Alone that Day. She scornd Jack, and scrippd at him, And murgeond him with Mucks; He would have lovd her, she would not let him For all his yellow Locks, He cherishd her, she bade go chat him, She counted him not two Clocks: So shamefully his short Jack set him, His Legs were like two Rocks, Or Rungs that Day. Tom Lutter was their Minstrel meet, Good Lord, how he could Lance; He playd so Shrill, and Sang so Sweet While Tousie took a Trance: Old Lightfoot there he could forleet, And counterfitted France, He held him like a Man discreet, And up the Morice Dance, He took that Day. Then Stephen came stepping in with stends No Ring might him arrest; Splayfoot did bob with many bends, For Masie he made Request, He lap while he lay on his lends, And rising was so prest, While he did boast at both the Ends For Honour of the Feast, And Dancd that Day. Then Robin Roy began to revel, And Tousie to him drugged: Let be, quoth Jack, and calld him Jevel, And by the Tail him rugged, Then Kensie clicked to a Kevel, God wots as they two lugged: They parted there upon a Nevel, Men say, that Hair was rugged Between them Twa. With that a Friend of his crayd fy, And forth an Arrow drew, He forged it so fiercefully, The Bow in flinders flew, Such was the Grace of God, trow I, For had the Tree been true; Men said, who knew his Archery, That he had slain anew, Belyve that Day.

A yap young Man that stood him neist, Soon bent his Bow in ire, And etled the Bairn in at the Breast, The Bolt flew ovr the Bire: And cryd fy, he hath Slain a Priest A Mile beyond the Mire: Both Bow and Bagg from him he kiest, And fled as fast as Fire From Flint that Day. An hasty Kins-man calld Hary, That was an Archer keen, Tyed up a Tackle withoutten tarry, I trow the Man was teen: I wot not whether his Hand did vary, Or his Foe was his Friend: But he escapd by the Mights of Mary As one that nothing meand But good that Day. Then Lawrie like a Lion lap, And soon a Flain could fedder: He height to pierce him at the Pape, Thereon to wed a Wedder: He hit him on the Wamb a wap, It bufft like any Bladder. He escaped so, such was his hap; His Doulbet was of Leather Full fine that Day. The Buff so boisterously abaist him, That he to the Earth dusht down, The other Man for Dead there left him, And fled out of the Town. The Wives came forth, and up they rest him And found Life in the Lown; Then with three routs they raised him And curd him out of sown, Fra Hand that Day. The Miller was of manly make, To meet him it was no Mowes: There durst not Ten some there him take So cowed be their Powes, The Bushment whole about him brake And bickerd him with Bows, Then traiterously behind his Back, They hackd him on the Howes Behind that Day. Then Hutchon with a Hazel Rice To red gan through them rummil: He muddld them down like any Mice He was no petty bummil, Tho he was Wight, he was not Wise, With such jutors to jummil: For from his Thumb there flew a slice, While he cryd barlasummil, Im Slain this Day. When that he saw his Blood so red To flee might no Man let him: He trowd it had been for old feed; He thought and bade have at him. He made his Feet defend his Head, The far fairer it set him, While he was past out of their Dread: They must be swift that gat him. Through Speed that Day Two that were Heads men of the Herd, They rushd on other like Rams: The other Four which were unfeard Beat on with Barrow Trams. And where their gobs they were ungeard They gat upon the Gams, While that all Bloody was their Beards, As they had worried Lambs, Most l[i]ke that Day.

They girnd and glowred all at anes, Each Gossip other grieved: Some striked Stings, some gathered Stanes, Some fled, and some Relieved. The Minstrel used quiet Means, That Day he wisely prieved, For he came hame with unbruisd Banes, Where Fighters were mischievd, Full ill that Day. With Forks and Flails they lent them slaps And flew together with Frigs; With Bougers of Barns they piercd blew Caps And of their Bairns made Brigs: The Rare rose rudely with their Raps, Then Rungs were laid on Rigs: The Wives came forth with Cries and Claps, See where my Liking Ligs, Full low this Day. The black Souter of Braith was bowden, His Wife hang at his Waist: His Body was in Black all browden, He girned like a Ghaist. Her glittering Hair was so gowden, Her Love fast from him Laist, That for his Sake she was unyawden, While he a Mile was chaist, And mair that Day. When they had beird like baited Bulls, The Bone-fires burnt like Bails, And then they grew as meek as Mules That wearied are with Mails; For those forfoughten tyred Fools, Fell down like slaughterd Frails, Fresh Men came in and haild the Dools, And dang them down in Dails, Bedeen that Day. The Wives then gave a hideous yell, When all these Yonkiers yoked, As fierce as Flags of Fire flaughts fell, Frieks to the Field they fl[o]cked, The Carles with Clubs did others quell On Breast while Blood out boaked, So rudely rang the Common bell, That all the Steeple rocked For Dread that Day. By this Tom Tailor was in his Gear, When he heard the Common bell, He said, he should make all a Stear When he came there himself, He went to fight with such a Fear, While to the Ground he fell, A Wife that hat him on the Ear, With a great knocking-Mell, Felld him that Day. The Bridegroom brought a Pint of Ale, And bade the Piper Drink it, Drink it quoth he, and it so Stale, Ashrew me if I think it. The Bride her Maidens stood near by, And said, it was not Blinked, And Bartagesie the Bride so gay, Upon him fast she winked Full soon that Day. When all was done Dick with an Ax Came forth to fell a Fother, Quoth he, where are you whoreson smaiks Right now that hurt my Brother? His Wife bade him go hame Gib Glaiks, And so did Meg his Mother; He turnd and gave them both their Parks For he durst ding no other, But them that Day.

The END of the First CANTO.

<seg n="1" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Canto II. <hi rend="bold">by</hi> Allan Ramsey.</hi></seg> <lb/> <seg n="2" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Consider it werly, Read oftner than anys,</hi></seg> <seg n="3" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Wiel at an Blenk sle Poetry not Tane is. G. DOUGLAS.</hi> </seg>

BUT there had bin mair Blood and Skaith Sair Harship and great Spulzie, And mony a ane had gotten his Death By this unfonsie Tooly: But that the bald Good-wife of Braith Armd wi a great Kale Gully, Came Belsy slaught and loot an Aith Shed gar them a be hooly, Fou fast that Day. Blyth to win aff sae wl hale Bones, Tho mony had clowrd Pows, And dragld sae mang Muck and Stanes They lookd like wirry Kows: Quoth some who malst had tint their Aynds, Lets see how a Bowls rows, And quat this Brouillement at anes, You Gul[l]y is nae Mows. Forsooth this Day. Quoth Hutchon, I am well content, I think we may do war, Till this Time Toumond Ise indent Our Claiths of Dirt will sar: Wi Nevels Im a maist fawn faint, My Chafts are dung a char: Then took his Bonnet, to the Bent And dadded aff the Glar, Fou clean that Day. Tam Taylor wha in Time of Battle Lay as gin some had felld him, Gat up now wi an unky Rattle, As nane there durst a quelld him; Bald Bess flew till him wi a Brattle, And spite ofs Teeth she held him Closs by the Craig, and with her fatal Knife Shoard She would Geld him, For Peace that Day. Syne e wi ae Consent shook Hands, As they stood in a Ring; Some redd their Hair, some set their Bands, Some did their Sark Tails wring; Then for a Happ upo the Sands They did their Minstrel bring, Whare clever Houghs like Will[s-]wands At ilky blythsome Spring, Lap high that Day. Claud Peky was na very blate, He stood na lang a beigh; For be the Wame he gripped Kate, And gard her gee a Skreigh; Had aft, quoth she, ye filthy Slate, Ye stink o Leeks, O figh, Let gae my Hands, I say, he quait, And wow gin she was Skreigh, And mim that Day. Now settld Goslies sat, and keen Did for fresh Bickere birle, While the young Swankies on the Green Took round a merry Tirle: Meg Wallet wi her pinky Een Gart Lawries Heart-strings dirle, And Folk wad threep that she did green For that wad gar her Skirle, And Skreigh some Day. The manly Miller haff and haff Came out to shaw good Will, Flang by his Mittens and his Staff, Cryd, Gee me Patties Mill: He lap Bawk high, and cryd, had aff, They rusd him that had Skill; He wad dot better quoth a Caf, Had he another Gill, Of Usquebae.

Furth started niest a pensy Blade, And out a Maiden took, They sayd that he was Faulkland bred, And danced by the Book, A souple Taylor to his Trade, And when their Hands he shook, Gae them what he gat fra his Dad, Videlicet, the Youke, To Claw that Day. Whan a cryd out he did sae well, He Meg and Bess did call up: The Lasses babbd about the Reel, Gard a their Hurdles wallop, And swat like Pownies whan they speel, Up Braes, or when they gallop, But a thrawn Knublock took his Heel, And Wives had him to hawl up, Haff felld that Day. But mony a pauky Look and Tale Gaed round whan Glouming housd them The Osler Wife brought ben good Ale, And bade the Lasses rouze them; Up wi them Lads, and Ise be Bail Theyl loo ye and ye touze them: Quoth Gaussie, this will never fail, Wi them that this gate woos them On sic a Day. Syn Stoles and Furms were drawn aside, And up raise Willie Dadle, A short Hought Man, but fow o Pride, He said the Fidler Playd ill. Lets hae the Pipes, quoth he, beside, Quoth a, that is nae said ill: He fitted the Floor, syne wi the Bride, To Cuttyspoon and Treeladle, Thick, thick that Day. In the mean Time in came the Laird, And by some Right did claim To Kiss and Dance wi Masie Aird, A dink and dortie Dame. But O poor Mause was aff her guard, For Back gate frae her Wame, Bekkin, she lot a fearson Raird, That gart her think great Shame, And blush that Day. Auld Steen led out Maggie Forsyth, He was her ain Good Brither; And ilky ane was unky blyth To see ald Folk fae clever. Quo Jock, wi laughing like to rive, What think ye o my Mither? Were my Dad dead, let me neer thrive But she wad get anither, Goodman this Day. Tam Lutter had a muckle Dish, And betwixt ilky Tune He laid his Lugs, int like a Fish, And suckt till it was done: His Bags were Liquord to his Wish, His Face was like a Moon: But he coud get nae Place to Pish in, but his ain twa Shoon, For thrang that Day. The Leter-gae of Hally Rhime Sat up at the Boord-head, And a he said was thought a Crime to contradict indeed. For in Glark Lear he was right prime, And coud baith Write and Read, He drank sae firm till neer a styme He coud keek on a Bead, Or Book that Day.

When he was Strute twa sturdy Chield Be his Oxter and bes Coller, Held up frae couping o the Creels The liquid Logick Schollar. When he came hame his Wife did Reel And Rampadge in her Choler, With that he brake her Spinning wheel, That cost a good Rix Dollar, And mair some say. Near Bed-time now ilk weary Wight Were gaunting for their Rest, For some were like to tyne their Sight Wi Sleep and Drinking strest. But others that were Stomach Tight Cryd out, It was nae best To leave a Supper that was Dight, To Brownies, or a Ghaist To Eat that Day. On whomelt Tubs lay twa lang Dails, On them stood mony a Goan, Some filld wi Brachen, some wi Kail, And Milk heat frae the Loan, Of Daintiths they had Routh and Wale, Of which they were right fon; But naithing was gae down but Ale Wi drunken Donald Don The Smith, that Day. Twice aught Bannocks in a Heap, And twa g[o]od Junts of Beef, Wi Hind and Fore-spawl of a Sheep, Drew whittles frae ilk Sheath: Wi Gravie & their Beads did dreep, They Kempit with their Teeth, A Kebuck syne that maist coud creep Its lane, pat on the Sheaf In Stows that Day. The Bride was now laid in her Bed, Her left Leg Ho was flung; And Geordie Gib was fidgen glad, Because it hit Jean Gun: She was his Jo, and aft had said, Fy, Geordie, had your Tongue, Yes neer get me to be your Bride, But changd her Mind when bung, That very Day. Tehee! quo Touzie, whan she saw The Cathel coming ben, It pypin heat gaed round them a, The Bride she made a fen, To sit in Wyliecoat sae braw, Upon her neither End, Her Lad like ony Cock did Craw, That meets a Clockin Hen, And blyth were they. The Souter, Miller, Smith, and Dick, Lawrie and Hutchon bauld, Carles that keep nae very strict Be Hours, tho they were auld; Nor coud they ere leave aff that Trick, But whare good Ale was sald, They drank a Night, ene tho auld Nick Shoud tempt their Wives to scald Them fort next Day. Was neer in Scotland heard or seen Sic Banquetting and Drinking, Sic Revelling and Battles keen, Sic Dancing, and sic Jinkin: And unko Wark that fell at Ene, Whan Lasses were haff Winkin, They lost their Feet, and haith their Een, And Maidenheads gaed Linkin Aff, a that Day.

FINIS.