%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> Simple SIMON's Misfortunes, / And his Wife MARGERY'S Cruelty; / Who Poisoned Him with a Bottle of Sack. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center Director Patricia Fumerton 1728-1728 Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 05/04/2011 31105

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

T48283 1 Delights of the Bottle UNKNOWN Delights of the Bottle COME listen a while and here I will relate, / A ditty of Simon's poor sorrowful fate: Roxburghe Ballads Editor None None None None Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 3: 406 3: 407 Simple SIMON's Misfortunes, / And his Wife MARGERY'S Cruelty; / Who Poisoned Him with a Bottle of Sack. Simple SIMON’s Misfortunes, And his Wife MARGERY’S Cruelty; Who Poisoned Him with a Bottle of Sack. Simple Simon's Misfortunes, And his Wife MARGERY’S Cruelty; Who Poisoned Him with a Bottle of Sack. 1728-1728

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 Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/ health alcohol animals/ nature Bible/ biblical figures buildings/ architecture catastrophe children class clothing/ appearance country/ nation crime death economics/ commerce entertainments family folklore gender holidays/ seasons infidelity labor/ craft law London love maritime marriage military/ war monstrosity mythology/ Classical news nobility/ court politics/ government procreation punishment race/ ethnicity religious concepts religious figures religious types & sects royalty rural life servitude sex/ sexuality supernatural/ magic The New World travel trickery/ deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgarities/ crass humor youth/ age Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 5/4/2011 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America alcohol animals/ nature death marriage trickery/ deceit violence Ballads, English 17th century Broadsides, England 17th century 5/4/2011 12:14:56 PM XBallad Mellon, Gillian Created XML Version of Ballad 5/4/2011 12:14:56 PM Transcription Supervisor McAbee, Kristina, Nebeker, Eric Transcription of ballad manuscript 5/4/2011 12:14:56 PM Double-Key Comparison and Merging Becker, Charlotte Transcription of ballad manuscript 5/4/2011 12:14:56 PM Transcriptionist Two Meyer, Shannon Transcription of ballad manuscript 5/4/2011 12:14:56 PM Transcriptionist One Zusky, Catherine Transcription of ballad manuscript 1/18/2009 Bibliographer Meghan Fadel Initial Ballad Catalogue Record Created 1/12/2011 Checker Grafals Michael Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 1/12/2011 Checker Grafals Michael Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 1/12/2011 Checker Grafals Michael Edited Ballad Catalogue Record 1/12/2011 Checker Grafals Michael Edited Ballad Catalogue Record
<seg n="1" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Simple SIMONs Misfortunes,</hi></seg> <seg n="2" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">And his Wife MARGERYS Cruelty;</hi></seg> <seg n="3" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Who Poisoned Him with a Bottle of Sack.</hi></seg> <lb/> <seg n="4" rend="left"><hi rend="italic">Tune--Delights of the Bottle.</hi></seg>
COME listen a while and here I will relate, A ditty of Simons poor sorrowful fate: His wife was to anger most cruelly bent, That seldom, poor man, he could give her content. But she for her own part so loved Sack, That often she tippld behind Simons back. A bottle she got, which held two quarts or more, Well filld with canary, hung behind the door: Then telling of Simon it was poison strong, And said, If he touchd it, it would do him wrong; Therefore Id have you be ruld by your wife, One drop is enough to cost you your life. The wife of poor Simon had a sow and pigs, Besides hens and turkeys, that had store of eggs; With ewes and weathers, nay innocent lambs, Who in the forest did sport with their dams. To Simon she gave the charge of them all, But see what hard fortune did to him befal:
He did his endeavour to live free from strife, Yet still thro misfortunes he angers his wife: As by this new ditty I will make appear, If you will be pleased to lend me an ear. His losses and crosses they came on so fast, That he of his wife was weary at last. One morning she sent him to tend the sheep, And bid bim be careful he did not sleep; Some victuals she gave him in his hand, That he might the better obey her command; But he fell asleep by his sheep on the plain, While six of the lambs by the foxes were slain. This caused distraction betwixt them for a time, Till Simon beggd pardon for his cruel crime. Next morning she sent him the goslins to tend, And said, On my favour, see you dont offend.
But mark the misfortune that happend ere night, Five of the best goslins were seizd by a kite. Poor Simon was neer so dismayd in his life, He knew not what answer to make to his wife. Next morning she sent him to milk the cow, And then a disaster was done by the sow; For while he was driving the young pigs away, The sow in the dairy was swigging the whey. The cheese from the vat she did tear and haul; And threw down the cream, destroying it all: Poor Simon he wept, and made piteous moan: The sow burst her belly, and so lost her life, This was the renewal of sorrow and strife. Now as she happened to see this sad sight, To Simon she straitway flew like a spright; Then lugging his ears, and wringing his nose, She beat him till tears run out at his hose; At every blow she to Simon did say, Remember the goslins the kite stole away. Now seeing what life he was like to lead, He unto the chamber did hasten with speed, To seize on the bottle I mentiond before, Which he thought was poison behind the door; And vowd he would drink it to finish his life, Rather than live with so cruel a wife. He opend the window that stood to the south, And setting the bottle of sack to his mouth, Said he, I this poison drink with all my heart, And at the first draught he drank down a quart: Then setting the bottle once more to his snout, He never left swigging till it was all out.
Then he fell down like one bereft of life. Im poisond says he, by the means of my wife; I now feel it flowing in every vein, The strength is so great it tickles my brain, My stomach, my belly, nay every part, And tho I am poisond I feel no great smart. His wife by the window did happen to walk, And hearing Simon how he did talk, In se[ar]ch of her bottle she up stairs did run, To see in the chamber what Simon had done. He lay by the bottle, as if of life bereft, But never a drop of sack had he left. Im poisond, said he, by the means of my wife, Let me be at quiet now Ive lost my life. Cotso! if youre poisond then I will contrive, A medicine straitway to fetch you alive; A powder she presently blew up his nose, Then like one frantic he straitway arose; Down stairs he run in the open street, All people were frighted that Simon did meet; His wife run after thro thick and thin, And with a cudgel belabourd his skin. The weight of her cudgel made Simon to roar, At length a kind neighbour let him in a-door; They sent for his wife, who came without fail, Their peace was made over a jug of good ale: Now Simon was freed from all care and dread, The neighbours in merriment got them to bed. That night, no doubt he pleased his wife, For now he leads a happy life.
Printed and Sold at the Printing-Office, Bow Church-Yard, London.