%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> The two Monstrous LOVER[S,],/ OR,/ The most Admirable VVOOING/ BETWIXT/ Nincompoop and Mopsaphil. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center Director Patricia Fumerton 0 Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 08/11/2008 22105

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

5.271 R187567 1 an Excellent New Tun[e], much in Request An Excellent New Tune, Much in Request AH my pritty Mopsaphil! no living Tongue can tell thee,/ how I dwindle, whine & pine, since first these eyes beheld thee? title cropped; for similar wrong tunes see 5.258. 5.289 5.271 Wing T3489A Pepys Library The Pepys ballads : facsimile volume Editor W.G. Day D.S. Brewer Cambridge [England] 1987 Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 5: 271 The two Monstrous LOVER[S,],/ OR,/ The most Admirable VVOOING/ BETWIXT/ Nincompoop and Mopsaphil. The two Monstrous LOVER[S,] OR, The most Admirable WOOING BETWIXT Nincompoop and Mopsaphil. The Two Monstrous Lovers, or, the Most Admirable Wooing Between Nincompoop and Mopsaphil. 1/2 sheet folio, 300 x 200 cropped left and right edges, creased, damaged surface horizontal and vertical rules 0 Printed for P. Brooksby, at the Golden Ball in Pye-Corner, near the Bear-Tavern. P. Brooksby

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 Taxonomy used by Pepys to Organize Ballads in Albums A Small Promiscuous Supplement Devotion & Morality Drinking & Good Fellowship History - True & Fabulous Humour, Frollicks &c Love Pleasant Love Pleasant and Unfortunate Love Unfortunate Marriage Sea State & Times Tragedy Various Subjects Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/health alcohol animals/nature appearance Bible/biblical figures buildings/architecture catastrophe children class clothing/fashion country/nation crime death economics/trade entertainment family/procreation folklore gender historical figures & events holidays/seasons infidelity law London love maritime marriage military/war monstrosity mythology/Classical world news nobility/court politics/government punishment religious concepts religious figures religious types & sects royalty rural life servitude sex/sexuality supernatural/magic The New World travel trickery/deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgarities/crass humor Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 8/11/2008 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America Love Pleasant family/procreation love marriage sex/sexuality 8/11/2008 Checker Cat Zusky Checked transcription, updated metadata, created XML 8/30/2007 Transcriber Kris McAbee Original transcription 10/8/2004 Bibliographer Maggie Sloan Bibliographic SQL Database Record Created
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(1) AH my pritty Mopsaphil! no living Tongue can tell thee, how I dwindle, whine & pine, since first these eyes beheld thee? Ah my lovely Nincompoop! there's no love lost between us, I am judg'd to love as much by all as e're have seen us; For thy dainty wadling Gate the natural squinting of thine Eye, And thy curious Nut-brown Face, alas! my Mopsaphil I dye, Ah! what pity 'tis that such Phisognomy as this should cry, I don't deny, then let me dye, you understand my meaning. (2) When 'tis dark i'le slide to thee thus softly on my tip-toes, If thou'lt let me in thy Flannel Petticoat and Slip-shoes, Ah! should I but give you leave, what would you do unto me? Should you take what I could give, alas! you would undo me: Oh! never fear my Mopsaphil, but leave the Door upon the pin, And when all the Spyes are still, I'll heave the Latch & enter in, Ah! what pity 'tis so sweet a bliss as this should be a sin, then do no fail, you must prevail, my Nincompoop conceive me. (3) Sure I will thy Counsel keep, my Dear, thou may'st believe me, When I to thy Chamber creep, I hope thou wilt receive me, For I am as sweet a Man as most is in the Nation, Yes, said she, my Nincompoop I stand in admiration: When as I see thy mansie Nose, thy bandy Leggs and beetle brow I cann't forbear but fall in Love with such a pritty Creature now, Therefore here I can't deny, but needs must yield to thee I vow, my minds reveal'd, this kiss has seal'd, the promise which I make you. (4) How I do rejoyce to think upon that happy hour, When I shall my Love enjoy, which will my grief devour? Thou art of a comely grace, and need not fear thy ruin, Mopsaphil, I pray now tell, how dost thou like my Wooing?
Sure never was a Nincompoop could court a Lass so [?] For indeed thy Courting Charms has won my Heart, I [?] Therefore do not fail to come when it is dark, my lov[e ] and you shall find I will be kind, according to thy hu [mor ] (5) But I have considered now, if you should lye beside m[e] And I prove with Child by you, alas! what will bet [ide me ] Damsels whine will scoff and flout, you know these thin [gs ] Love, said he, if this should be, I'll make an honest wom [an ] Of my dainty Mopsaphil, for we will married be wi[th] And I for thee will then provide, then prithee let us [?] Therefore now no more of this my Mopsaphil we n [?] then do not fear my only dear, I ever will adore the [e ] (6) Love, to what I do pretend, I ever will be loyal, Therefore do not seem to blush, but put it to the trya [l] All the silent Night we'll spend in loves delight and p [leasure ] And on thee I will bestow sweet Kisses out of measure: [?] Oh! but if my Mother she should chance to catch us bo [?] How she would then be in a rage, this is the very thing O let not such things as these, my dearest now run in t [?] be rul'd by me and thou shalt see, that I will surely[p?] (7) I'll get thee a lusty Lad, delighful in his favour, If it be but like the Dad, from thee I ne'er will sever, Nay, my Nincompoop, said she, it will but be your [D ?] Should the Child be like you, then it needs must be a B [?] If it hath thy beetle Brows, thy squinting Eyes and wa [?] Bandy leggs and mamsy Nose, your love for it must ne [?] And therefore now, pray do not fail to come to me, th [?] My love you crave, which you shall have, what Maid [?]
This may be Printed, R.P. Printed for P. Brooksby , at the Golden Ball in Pye-Corner , near the Bear-Tavern .