%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> The Old Mans Advice/ to Batchellors, about the choice of their Wives. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center Director Patricia Fumerton 0-1689 Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 08/20/2007 21768

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

4.104 R188709 1 Oh Mother! Roger etc. O Mother! Roger O Mother! Roger IF you would take a Wife for pleasure, / here's instructions how to chuse, Pepys 4.104 Wing O206[a]aA Pepys Library The Pepys ballads : facsimile volume Editor W.G. Day D.S. Brewer Cambridge [England] 1987 Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 4: 104 The Old Mans Advice/ to Batchellors, about the choice of their Wives. The Old Mans Advice to Batchellors, about the choice of their Wives. The Old Man's Advice to Bachelors, About the Choice of Their Wives. 1/2 sheet oblong folio, 207 x 308 cropped left and bottom edges, uneven inking vertical rule 0-1689 Printed for J. Conyers a little above St. Andrews Church in Holbourn. J. Conyers BBTI

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 Taxonomy used by Pepys to Organize Ballads in Albums A Small Promiscuous Supplement Devotion & Morality Drinking & Good Fellowship History - True & Fabulous Humour, Frollicks &c Love Pleasant Love Pleasant and Unfortunate Love Unfortunate Marriage Sea State & Times Tragedy Various Subjects Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/health alcohol animals/nature appearance Bible/biblical figures buildings/architecture catastrophe children class clothing/fashion country/nation crime death economics/trade entertainment family/procreation folklore gender historical figures & events holidays/seasons infidelity law London love maritime marriage military/war monstrosity mythology/Classical world news nobility/court politics/government punishment religious concepts religious figures religious types & sects royalty rural life servitude sex/sexuality supernatural/magic The New World travel trickery/deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgarities/crass humor Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 8/20/2007 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America Marriage advice appearance marriage sex/sexuality 8/20/07 Checker Rachel Mann Transcription checked, Metadata updated, XML created 11/16/06 Transcriber Jessica Murphy Original Transcription 9/15/2004 Bibliographer Liberty Stanavage Bibliographic SQL Database Record Created
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IF you would take a Wife for pleasure, here's instructions how to chuse, Which will prove a real Treasure, and which you ought to refuse: Here are all the marks and lines, All Loves symptomes and Loves signs, If the hair upon her crown Be a sweet dark Nutmeg brown, It is a sweet and lasting hue, And that colour often true. Amongst the many thousand faces that we see in London Town, Some have charms and some have graces and some faults, which may be known. If she have a fore-head high,
And a lovely sparkling eye, If her lips, when they are felt, Taste like Balm, and sweetly melt, She is a Lass that I approve, And a lass men ought to love. But if she have a Nose like fire, and a Tongue too with a twang, Prithee Chapman do not buy her, least she bid thee go and hang, If above such fire there show, Think what she has then below, Therefore that same danger shun, into fire let no man run, Least foolishly they come to harm, For fire can burn as well as warm.
If thou perceive her Hair is yellow, let her not be thy delight, For she'l love each lusty fellow, and will conquer thee in fight: Such young Girles, like to some Mill, Though you give, yet crave they will: Such will waste thee to the bones, Or else they will grind the stones; Therefore be sure avoid that lass, Least your ears hand like an Ass. If she be young and tender-hearted, and not skill'd in Cupids Art, She by thee must not be thwarted, kindness gains a maidens heart: Chuse that path where thou maist say None before e're found the way; What if it should be so strait That you should for Entrance wait? The pleasure's greater than the toyl, And men love so rich a spoyl. If a proud woman you'l be wooing, you must learn to bear with all, If she be not past her doing, pride (you know) will have a fall: if she's tall 'tis odds, she's proud, if she's short she'l scold aloud; if she's long she'l lazy be, And you two will ne'r agree; And if she be most wondrous fair, She's foolish, therefore have a care.
If she is rich she'l keep you under, domineer all day and night, Rattle Peals as loud as Thunder, that you shall have no delight, What you say shall nought avail, Flapt you'l be with Foxes tail, Fed with scolding maundring brath, Which to eat one would be loath. From such a piece of crabbed tree May fate deliver thee and me. But if she be adorn'd with graces and be one that's nobly born, Some say women with sweet faces will exalt mens heads with horn: You must father all be sure, And whate'er she please indure; You must be contented still, And let women have their will, The Proverb says so much you know, Therefore prithee let her go. If bravely drest, she'l gad and wander, therefore chuse some Country maid, That you may be her Commander, they are apt to be afraid: You may bend them to your bow, When a nice and dainty Doe Shall bring nought but noise and strife, And torment you all your life, Therefore be wise and have a care, And make choice of Country ware.
Printed for J. Conyers a little above St. Andrews Church in Holbourn.