%ISOlat1; %ISOlat2; %ISOnum; %ISOpub; ]> THE/ Wanton Widows pleasant Mistake,/ Or, A Wooden Image turn'd to Flesh and Blood. University of California - Santa Barbara The Early Modern Center Director Patricia Fumerton 1682-1692 Early Modern Center, University of California Santa Barbara Santa Barbara, CA 04/03/2008 21322

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Patricia Fumerton Early Modern Center - English Department University of California Santa Barbara, CA 93105 United States of America EMail: pfumer@english.ucsb.edu

3.306 R187698 1 Let Caesar Live long Let Caesar Live Long Let Caesar Live Long A Buxom rich Widdow had late laid in Grave/ Her Husband Old Simon, her true Drudge and slave With many a groan then, she sigh'd and she cry'd,/ She wants her Old Simon to lye by her side. [with variations] Pepys 3.306 Wing W719A Pepys Library The Pepys ballads : facsimile volume Editor W.G. Day D.S. Brewer Cambridge [England] 1987 Information in this section of the Source Description refers to the original ballad manuscript. 3: 306 THE/ Wanton Widows pleasant Mistake,/ Or, A Wooden Image turn'd to Flesh and Blood. THE Wanton Widows pleasant Mistake, Or, A Wooden Image turn'd to Flesh and Blood. The Wanton Widow's Pleasant Mistake, or, a Wooden Image Turned to Flesh and Blood. 1/2 sheet oblong folio, 196 x 324 cropped right edge, uneven inking vertical rule 1682-1692 Printed and Sold by I. Millet, at the Angel in Little-brittain. J. Millet PBA

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 Taxonomy used by Pepys to Organize Ballads in Albums A Small Promiscuous Supplement Devotion & Morality Drinking & Good Fellowship History - True & Fabulous Humour, Frollicks &c Love Pleasant Love Pleasant and Unfortunate Love Unfortunate Marriage Sea State & Times Tragedy Various Subjects Early Modern Center Ballad Project Keyword Taxonomy advice affliction/health alcohol animals/nature appearance Bible/biblical figures buildings/architecture catastrophe children class clothing/fashion country/nation crime death economics/trade entertainment family/procreation folklore gender historical figures & events holidays/seasons infidelity law London love maritime marriage military/war monstrosity mythology/Classical world news nobility/court politics/government punishment religious concepts religious figures religious types & sects royalty rural life servitude sex/sexuality supernatural/magic The New World travel trickery/deceit urban life vice violence virtue vulgarities/crass humor Library of Congress Subject Heading Taxonomy 4/3/2008 Santa Barbara, California, United States of America Love Pleasant love sex/sexuality trickery/deceit vulgarities/crasshumor 04/03/2008 Checker Patrick Ludolph metadata added, xml created 02/25/2008 Checker Patrick Ludolph transcription checked 08/14/2006 Checker Eric Nebeker transcription checked 08/07/2006 Transcriber Eric Nebeker original transcription 08/31/2004 Bibliographer Simone Chess Bibliographic SQL Database Record Created
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A Buxom rich Widdow had late laid in Grave Her Husband Old Simon, her true Drudge and slave But O the sad loss of beloved dear Mate. She lacks her dear Bed-fellow, O her hard Fate, With many a-groan then, she sigh'd and she cry'd, She wants her Old Simon to lye by her side. To a Carver she goes then, resolv'd for to get her A Husband of Wood made, instead of better: The Carver an Image does presently make, Toth' life like Old Simon; and for his dear sake, E'ry night in her Bed, whatsoever betide, This Wooden Old Simon shall lye by her side. With a Shirt on his Back, and a Cap on his Head, And warm'd very well, lay'd a-nights in her Bed; She kisses and [b]ills him, her Arms round him throws, And hugs him, but all to small purpose, she knows: Yet for dear Husbands sake, whatsoever betide, This Wooden Old Simon shall lye by her side.
This jolly gay Widdow had Suitors came to her, Who proffer'd with all the best words they cou'd wooe her To chuse a new Husband to take off her Cares: A Husband! ah no, she's all deaf to their Pray'rs: In vain they all Courted, the place was supply'd, For her woode Old Simon still lay by her side. At length a brisk Spark, whose Estate run adrift, And wanted Rich Widdow to give him a lift, By wheedling and bribing the Widdows kind Maid, A subtile sly Plot strait between them was laid, One night in her Bed this brisk Gallant to hide, 'Stead of wooden Old Simon to lye by her side. Like Old Simon drest, though not made of hard Wood, But a softer young Simon of sweet Flesh and Blood, Hid close 'twixt the Sheets where he lies snug and still Till the widow (who harmless poor thing dreamt no ill) As brisk as a Girl, and as gay as a Bride, Trips nimbly to Bed, and lyes close by his side.
With a Reach and a Yawn, and a soft sigh or two, As a poor single Widdow might very well do; No sooner she felt her self all thorough warm, But stretching at last a kind Leg and an Arm; With a plump heaving Breast, and a warm Cheek beside, She turn'd to her Simon that lay by her side. As she gave the kind Hug, likewise all on a sudden, She thought she toucht somthing that did not fell wooden For something she felt which was all soft and warm, Nay, at last something stir'd too; but thinking no harm, She hug'd him still the closer, resolv'd to be try'd, What had alter'd the wooden old Sim by her side. But oh, to unriddle her Wonder! her Arms Lockt fast in Embraces, all Rapture and Charms; Till melting, and dying, and twining, and pressing, She felt something sweet, so beyond all expressing, That never, O never, all Ravisht she cry'd, So dear a kind Simon e're lay by my side. The Maid in the morning, but not till near Noon, For fear of disturbing her Mistress too soon, Came and knockt at the door, for to know of her Lady, What for Dinner she'd order to have her get ready; What Bak'd, Boyl'd, or Roast, she'd have her provide, 'Gainst she rose from the Simon that lay by her side. Roast the Pig and the Goose, the brisk Widow reply'd Boyl a stout Leg of Mutton, with Turneps beside; Get a dish of plump Parridge, with a good smother'd Coney The best can be purchas'd for love or for money: With a Dish of sweet Custards and Cheesecakes beside, For me and my Dearest that lyes by my side. Ay, Madam, your will shall be done, says the Maid, But only sweet Mistress, I'm sorely afraid, We have not at home got Wood enought here To make a quick Fire to dress this good Cheer: How, Hussey, crys Widdow, want Fire for your turn! Burn Old Simon, ye Jade, take Old Simon and Burn. Old Simon was Burnt then, and all this good Chee[r] Was Welcome too small for her Bed-fellow dear; A senseless Old Simon, that Wooden dull Tool! A silly dry Image, no, Burn the Old Fool: With s sweeter soft Armful much better supply'd, She has warm Flesh and Bones now to lye by her side.
FINIS.
Printed and Sold by J. Millet, at the Angel in Little-brittain.